http://chanelsy.blogspot.com/ :D MEMORIES <#3

♥ Friday, January 21, 2005

Hmmp 2day i really moody...can say nt onli 2day la...is every day after 12th jan tat some tin happent...can not say is some tin,as is a very big n sad tin...tat i was left alone now lyk tat...

really hope e time can go back if i do take more effect 2 care 4 my mum n dad...care more abt their health asking them c doctor early den some of e tin wouldt happent liao...but just i m so heartless din take an effect to care 4 them...y i m lyk tat n i hate tat so wish tat it would be happening on me bt nt them...they r so gd person bt me leh,i nt alway very playful dun listen to them...even noe tat they sick i would worri tat much,onli noe enjoy my life..a person lyk me should nt live in e world...really thinking back if i make an effect to pei them more,tok more thur they r very nagging bt is bcos they care abt me,worri i would gt bad friend,worri abt my study,worri my health..bt yet they hav nt wait 4 me to grown work to earn $$$ 4 them to enjoy life,n just leave lyk tat...is very scarly of beening alone with no 1 of ur close ppls around...as now our age we onli take our friend as e more close ppls,bt time go when we will go differ way may nt keep in touch any more hw???so parent are still e most importion, and hav to thxfull 4 they been taking care of us when we down,sick,or fall...ofcos nt saying friend r nt importion,n i hav to thxfull 4 all my friend who been an wei n helping me 2 pass thur tis sad time..bt they cant alway pei me...they gt their own famliy problem,n their own tin to fan of...bt i really thx god 4 gving me tis few gd friend as i gt problem they alway around nt leaving me alone to feel sad...

but 2day is really moody as gt prayer on at my house...den i hav to come early to clearn up my place...therefore i stay over nite 1day b4..bt e feeling of 1 ppl at hm is very scarly 4 me...last time thur my dad alway back hm late bt at least i noe tat there gt 1 ppl will come back acc me...bt nt 2day, feeling e house is so quiter no longer hv my dad around to nag at me...telling me rest early dun tried myself..no 1 will cook 4 me at nite when i m feeling hungry...and when after finish praying all e ppls has left,leaving me alone face e my house 4 wall think back hw my dad has be alone after my mum left...i really dun no hw he go thur...as his kid i dun offent come back vist him...when he is sick,no one is there taking care of him...i really feeling very bad...

Who can tell me wat should do,now i gt to choose of closing down or go on with my dad e prayer...i dun lyk e prayer as i just find is over do every day n nite gt to pray,bt it my dad hard wk to built up...closing it down i lyk letting my dad down as his last wish is hope i can take over...bt taking over i would feel gd as i m doing some tin which i hate some more it would be 4 a life time n i m still so young...hw???and 1 can ans me,by asking my aunty they will say tis my house is my dad prayer which i hav to tink abt it they cant help...i m just a gal thur i 20yr old liao bt i really dunno...many ppls looking at my strong side,c me luff n strong bt inside i m just so weak as i grass it can break easy...every time went back hmno one i can tok to,grandma is old cant tel her 2 make her worri 4 me.,..tat y my friends alway say y i so quiter is nt i 1 just that at hm i dun hav any 1 to share problem since young with,so i become dun no hw to tell my friend abt my problem...tat y i very scare been left out by friend bt yet i would show or say it out...tat me,it some tin i really dun no or cant change myself...

tat will be all saying so much making me feeling better too...last of all is pls my friend thx 4 ur care n concern...if dun hav all ur help i tink i cant make it till 2day...

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1/21/2005 08:22:00 PM