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♥ Monday, October 12, 2009



i am in a colorful person inside black and white world or i am the black and white person in a colorful world?

i think is the 2nd type, because i lost my color when they left me behind. everyone know how to say dao li, even myself know but who can really do it? i am hurt not because of their straight forward advice but i am sad because it feeling pain. that is been nice is it stupid? i lost myself, dunno why, compare to last time now i just hard to be the planner , to think of places to go, what to eat, and etc.. who are those people who changed me, are those who i am close with and for those few who left me. i no longer myself, i become timid, now just trying to hold all kind of thing just to get a abit of care and love out of it. i am just like flooding in a sea now, trying hard to get any thing to hold to keep myself alive. but then what i am doing, other may see it as stupid, for why been to nice to other, for why always kana bully, for why dun wan speak up? all kind of why, which i dunno how to answer at that point of time. i also dun want to know why, till yesterday i finally understand because there people who hit my head to wake up who i dunno. but am i going to change or not, that will be another question. should say my heart is empty or my heart is death, that cause me now locking myself in my own world.

so slowly i lost my own thinking, no idea of planing, no idea of living, no aim for my life. just want to hold on whatever happiness i am having now, which one of the days could be gone. staying at the same place, not moving forward at all or should say i am even start to move backward. my mask is going to drop off, which i scare one of the days i may go mad, when one of the day i maybe became enemy of my friends.

♥ Blogged @
10/12/2009 11:48:00 AM